A Seagull Shits on William Harvey

Gosh, it’s a long time since I last put anything here. Must do better in 2022.

Here is a Folkestone poem. William Harvey was born in Folkestone in 1578, the son of a jurat (a magistrate), and is famed as the first person to correctly describe blood’s circulation in the body. He published his theories in a book entitled ‘Exercitatio Anatomica de Motu Cordis et Sanguinis in Animalibus’.

He became Extraordinary Physician to King James I and then to Charles I. Under his supervision, four of the women found guilty of witchcraft in the Pendle Witch Trials of 1634 were examined- no ‘marks of witchcraft’ were found on them, and they were pardoned by the king.

His statue in Folkestone is disfigured with seagull droppings, which is a pity, but I wrote this from the seagull’s point of view.

A Seagull Shits on William Harvey

I feel comfortable in my skin these days,
Now the mad teenage years of living on
Nothing but chips and ice-cream, washing it down
With a lap at the cider-vomit of the town’s
Youth problem, have gone.

I single out William Harvey to praise
For De Motu Cordis et Sanguinis.
Extraordinary Physician to King James,
The jurat’s son, though sceptical of witches,
Proved himself worthy

Of his life, the motion of his heart and blood,
And, in a way, showed the cider-puking low life
No less like those of superior blood.
That’s worth a statue, quincentennial fame-
They were worth it, weren’t they?

So when you see the anointment of dried crud
That decorates Harvey’s head and shoulders
Don’t turn up your nose, but use your loaf-
It is I, now much wiser and much older,
Who offers this tribute to his natural philosophy-
The circulation of shit on the human body.